Ode to Chinese T-Shirts

#1 “My boyfriend's a Hells Angel”

A little boy nonchalantly sauntered into class dressed to kill. If only he knew… Prop 8 for lyyyfe..?

#3 "Clouds. hsgdvkjqhvkjbsdjvk”

That’s not a word but keep trying…

#4 “It’s Boyfriend Season"

Don’t hate the player, hate the game... right?

 #5 “Don’t Fu*k My Ass”

[Sorrysorrysorry for the vulgarity] 

But this… this is gold. PLUS this was taken at a nearby university. I’d so love to see what Brigham Young University would do if I boastfully debouched campus sporting this lovely thang? 

And many, many, many, many, manymanymanymany more! 

Ode to Avatars

Last week, I was lucky enough wanderlust the weekend away in Zhangjiajie, China// the home of the Avatars! Okay, maybe not the Avatars… but the Avatar Mountains! Blanketed in a gilded green canopy, these statuesque, stand-alone mountains are nestled right between heaven and a chicken salad croissant sandwich! Zhangjiajie National Park, in China’s Hunan Province, has been more or less out of the international tourist radar in the past, but that is definitely going to change. And soon. Following a soaking rain, a soupily sensible fog will settle over the valley, dressing the base of these pillar-like mountains in a buttermilk brume – creating, The Floating Mountains. The perfect fantasy dreamland.

Within minutes, I was completely transfixed. My mind melted a little more with each belief binding view. How did they happen?! “Summer’s erosion and winter’s expanding ice” is just not a good enough answer for me. Why not anywhere else?! Why only here!? How?! Baa! Anyway, forget my total volcanic mind eruption… our hostile was within a right-out-of-a-movie mountain town. With wood cabins, crisp air, antique cottages, and cute locals. I felt like this village was my own hidden treasure; my personal, yet infinite, secret garden. And I never wanted to leave. Needless to say, I thoroughly enjoyed my weekend filled with 3,100 sandstone pillars, street vendors, zzzt, cable cars, “China Pants”, ponchos, phony student I.D. cards, frustrated Chinese employees, guilty discounts, “…and it wasn’t weird”, rude chain smokers, hunchbacks, slurp the P juice through a straw, a 365 story elevator, “Dani! Daaani! Oh bay-bee”, credit card swiping, female leg scissoring, buses on buses on buses, stairs on stairs on stairs, Asians on Asians on Asians, rich food, and even richer conversation. All completely inhabited by these rowdy lil’ wild monkeys. Just the way I like it.  

But… I so badly wanted to ruin all sentimental beauty of this place and just paint myself blue and hide in a bush whispering “I see you.” But I figured that I’d probably just call more attention to myself by just being white. 

And I really love all these people: 

"For We Are Together"

Absolutely, positively - my most-adorned stem of China is the Sabbath Day!

       On the first Sunday, abaft a habitually unified and robust ballad of Battle Hymn of the Republic, the Spirit flooded through the pocketed apartment we sat in. The solitary thought that soaked my mind was “we are not alone, for we are together.” It is so easy to feel desolate and a little detached here as I am so far from what I’ve consistently considered home. But that day, the supportive arms of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints were cultivating me completely. Our District President, sweet President Turner, knew we were coming to Zhongshan, sending us sacrament trays, sacrament cloths, hymnals, and 13 folding chairs that we could use for our 'remote-access' Sunday meetings. The blooming package arrived with no label, no return address. Along with it came a sound system to hook up to our computer so that we could Skype into the branch which conducts its meetings about an hour away in Guangzhou. I am an active member of a branch. It is a trifling toy in this church’s telescope… and it may only be over Skype, but it is strong and it is true. 

       I've never felt more love from my Savior than I have in the last three weeks; for I know that I am supported and I know that I am never alone. The Lord is acutely aware of me and He has an unmitigated love for me which omnipotently protects me. I absolutely believe that this church and it’s gospel really are unquestionably true: wherever you are. 

Ode to China

Hey, stranger!

I currently live in Zhongshan, China teaching English at Kaiyin Kindergarten and I can assure you that I have a better life than you. I spend my days with some blowzy little Asian dumplings – and they are irrepressibly risible, yet riotous at. all. times. They are five year olds. And they are easily stuffed into suitcases; don't worry. 

I have been squatting here for about three weeks. And when I say squatting, I actually mean squatting. In China, you do not sit on the ground, you squat. You do not use benches at the bus stop, you squat. You do not even use a westernized toilet, you squat. I will have the thighs of Hercules by the time I am home.

With that being said, I officially deem Zhongshan, China flawlessly faultless in every feasible way! I love these students; I love these people; I love this town! If I could live here until forever… I’d be a happy woman!