The Prescriptivist : January 2013

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

"Stefan, we need to talk"

just hangin out w/ stefan

(now that he's singlin' & minglin' and all)

[the unspoken & unspeakable Jenna Neeley in a world of

uncannily good-looking vampires, witches, and were-wolves]

Thanks for the portrait, Heather! You rule!

Sunday, January 20, 2013

A Sing-a-Long Song

A brilliant man taught me that sometimes, it's okay to hate!

And when you really hate something...

just sing along.

La La La La La La La La La La

La La La La La La La

La La La La La La La La La La

La La La La La

Because then, you really don't hate anything anymore.

La La La La La La

I just "La La La" my hates & frustrations out. What do you do?

Friday, January 18, 2013

I was watching Just Go With It the other night with my two younger siblings. This movie is a forever favorite of mine, for reasons I could never explain. But! Regardless… it makes me wet myself every time. Especially when Jennifer Aniston’s character explains how her family uses the word “Devlin” instead of “poop”. Example: rather than saying, “Mom, can I take a dump?” They ask, “Mom, can I make a Devlin?”

"Devlin" is, in fact, an old, but hated, sorority sister.

Every family has a Devlin.

We've have figured out who ours is…

Who is yours?

Who would you name your poop after?

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Happy Sunday!

"By learning of Him, by believing in Him, by following Him, there is the capacity to become like Him. [Our] countenance can change; [our] heart can be softened; [our] step can be quickened; [our] outlook enhanced.

Life becomes what it should become."

-Pres. Thomas S. Monson

Happy Sabbath, Everyone!

& on a little less reverent note - as I read this months Ensign, I saw a picture of the dear President Erying & noticed something a bit silly:

But I still adore this man and his perpetual pillar of light to us all!

I am so grateful for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints

& the happiness that it's gospel brings me.

Because I'm not sure how I could be any happier!

Friday, January 11, 2013

Like Summer in January

My current life in Texas… tranquilizing. To say the least.

I awaken my aurora by going to the gym. Impressive, I know I kno-haa-ow. Except… I work out at the Grapevine Fitness Center. And therefore, I elliptical next to four 75-year-old women. And all 4 of them are in better shape than me. But I’m not embarrassed.

I spend my afternoons and evenings serving wine drunks and beer bastards at Fish City Grill. I’m a waitress, and I am good at my job. No, of course I would never cut you off, ma’am. And yes! I’d love to see you drunk, sir. Let me even drive your car home for you. But it’s all okay because when I am working, I can pretend I’m a southern belle and speak with a heavy Texan drawl, ya’ll.

And I typically spend the night speaking in nonsense with my little brother and sister who still live at home.

I don't go to school, I don't have a car & I don't have many friends. I do clean a lot, I do read many books & I do eat entire boxes of chocolates. And I do get to spend every second with my precious family.

Which I wouldn't trade for the world.

& at least I'm not in this winter wretchedness:

Thursday, January 10, 2013

A very late, very Merry Christmas!

I always forget how much I love my home around Christmas!

To an outside observer, my home is the usual over-decorated conglomerate of wreaths, santas, and nativity scenes. But to me... this is what it looks like:

We are officially the only house on my entire street who puts up Christmas lights, but that sure doesn’t stop my father. Oh no. He cloaks our home in a canopy of scintillescent sparkles. It may sound tacky, and it might actually be tacky, but to me, my house looks like a genuine gingerbread house (minus the candy canes, I hate those).

We have two Christmas trees. Our downstairs tree is fancifully covered in gold and erubescent glass ornaments. The upstairs tree is ‘santa’s’ tree. This tree is hidden under hand crafted ornaments; from preschool, elementary school, and Sunday school classes. I personally have an ornament from every year of elementary school - I turned my yearbook photo into a snowman or angel or Christmas tree (why, oh why my teacher thought it’d be cute to put my face on a Christmas tree is beyond me.) We have a glittered pine cone from 1985 on that tree. And four yarn ornaments that my mother made on my parents first Christmas together.

Oh, and my little brother can karate kick the electric star right off the top of that tree.

We have four carolers sitting on our dining room table; a mom, a dad, a son, and a daughter. My mom made these at a relief society activity years ago, but I always liked pretending that they are a 'yours, mine, and ours' family and the brother & sister are aaactually falling in love while singing "Hark! The Harold Angels Sing".

We have home-made felt stockings that always hang on the fireplace. Mine is easily the best, but I’m sure all my other siblings will argue that. My oldest sister’s is a dancing Christmas tree. With eyes. And a smile. Again, why oh why are Christmas trees allowed to have faces?

Next to these stockings sits our life-long ligneous friend, Rudolph. He used to have babies made out of clothes pins… but they've moved on to bigger & better places (like the couch cushions and the toy boxes and… the trash.) And just for the record, he is a terrible rocking horse.

We have three special nutcrackers. They were once made to sing for our dear eldest brothers while they were on their missions years ago. Lemme tell ya, I don’t know what gender they are… but those lil crackers can harmonize any hymn.

There is this nativity scene puzzle, too. That damn puzzle. I swear, it took me almost eight Christmas' to finally put it together, and once I did... mom took it apart and placed Joseph & Mary & Baby Jesus back in their peaceful positions.

& sometimes even an old Christmas Homecoming Mum I was given my Sophomore year of High School adds to the mess.

Add twenty-seven people and twenty-four years of memories, and we've got the trifecta!

A Christmas in my home is filled with history.

And that’s the way I like it!

Christmas 2006