Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Speaks so Loudly


The Great Dictator

I’m sorry, but I don’t want to be an emperor. That’s not my business. I don’t want to rule or conquer anyone. I should like to help everyone - if possible - Jew, Gentile - black man - white. We all want to help one another. Human beings are like that. We want to live by each other’s happiness - not by each other’s misery. We don’t want to hate and despise one another. In this world there is room for everyone. And the good earth is rich and can provide for everyone. The way of life can be free and beautiful, but we have lost the way.
Greed has poisoned men’s souls, has barricaded the world with hate, has goose-stepped us into misery and bloodshed. We have developed speed, but we have shut ourselves in. Machinery that gives abundance has left us in want. Our knowledge has made us cynical. Our cleverness, hard and unkind. We think too much and feel too little. More than machinery we need humanity. More than cleverness we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost....
The aeroplane and the radio have brought us closer together. The very nature of these inventions cries out for the goodness in men - cries out for universal brotherhood - for the unity of us all. Even now my voice is reaching millions throughout the world - millions of despairing men, women, and little children - victims of a system that makes men torture and imprison innocent people.
To those who can hear me, I say - do not despair. The misery that is now upon us is but the passing of greed - the bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress. The hate of men will pass, and dictators die, and the power they took from the people will return to the people. And so long as men die, liberty will never perish. 
Soldiers! don’t give yourselves to brutes - men who despise you - enslave you - who regiment your lives - tell you what to do - what to think and what to feel! Who drill you - diet you - treat you like cattle, use you as cannon fodder. Don’t give yourselves to these unnatural men - machine men with machine minds and machine hearts! You are not machines! You are not cattle! You are men! You have the love of humanity in your hearts! You don’t hate! Only the unloved hate - the unloved and the unnatural! Soldiers! Don’t fight for slavery! Fight for liberty!
In the 17th Chapter of St Luke it is written: “the Kingdom of God is within man” - not one man nor a group of men, but in all men! In you! You, the people have the power - the power to create machines. The power to create happiness! You, the people, have the power to make this life free and beautiful, to make this life a wonderful adventure.
Then - in the name of democracy - let us use that power - let us all unite. Let us fight for a new world - a decent world that will give men a chance to work - that will give youth a future and old age a security. By the promise of these things, brutes have risen to power. But they lie! They do not fulfil that promise. They never will!
Dictators free themselves but they enslave the people! Now let us fight to fulfil that promise! Let us fight to free the world - to do away with national barriers - to do away with greed, with hate and intolerance. Let us fight for a world of reason, a world where science and progress will lead to all men’s happiness. Soldiers! in the name of democracy, let us all unite!


Tuesday, October 29, 2013

so good

Well, today was a bad day. I could not focus. I felt like a bad student. I felt like a bad employee. I accidentally missed an important meeting. I ate too much. Leaving me in a food coma for five hours. I was bugged. I felt alone. I felt like I wanted to quit the stress. And I was farting a lot.

So what did the Lord bless me with? The ability to recall all I've learned in the last two months of school and get a perfect score on my Media Writing mid-term. Did I deserve that? Absolutely no.

In continence of last week... I just want you to see how good our Savior is! Because it took me far too long to see and completely open my heart. All we must do it be available to Him... & he will bless us so! I can't believe I've been so blind until now. The Lord is with me (and you!) in every moment. Giving encouragement when needed; hope when desired; and love at all times, in all things, in all places.


I'm corny,
But I like it.

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Today, I'm Grateful


I only have a minute – but I never want to forget this.

This week was foreseen to be the most stressful of my academic being. With three major mid-terms, I’ve been pressed for both time and energy. Walking home from the library each night at midnight, I have thought, “I’m walking straight up to my room and going to bed until the end of forever.” But as I get home and CeraVe away the grime and grief of the day, I remember… The Lord will bless me for obedience. I just know it. So I read a quick chapter on my Gospel Library app, listen to a bit of the Prophet’s spoken word, and facilely fall asleep.

My result for simple steps?  My Savior pointing a finger in my face, saying,

“SEE! If you just obey, Jenna!”
Almost, “oh watch me now, girl.” 

Because... starting Tuesday morning. I was focused. I was productive. Tender mercies. Tuesday evening. I received an e-mail from my professor saying that due to complications with the mid-term, it will be pushed back next week. Wednesday morning. Statistics concepts that had confused me for weeks became clear. Wednesday afternoon. I won a headline writing contest and was rewarded a bag of Hershey’s kisses: my fat kid motivation for continual study throughout the night.  Wednesday night. The library closed with a robust rendition of How Firm a Foundation, in which the words, “fear not I am with thee, oh be not afraid” rang through the hard-backs and soft-covers alike. Thursday morning. A second professor postponed our midterm, giving me the entire week to stuff my brains out. This afternoon? I receive a sweet text from my father saying that he received a big promotion at work… and that he loved me. A lot. 

Although typically I wouldn't bat an eyelash at these minor miracles, this week it was my Saviors way of saying, “See…”  And this may seem like the silly Laurel’s lesson anecdote, but… These silly things are what bless me the most. The silly sacrifices. The silly things that remind me of the love my Savior has for me.Which in the end, isn't that silly at all. So why do we ever become ungrateful? I truly believe that my Heavenly Father was waiting for me; begging me to allow his blessings to unequivocally comfort & compass me. And I couldn't be more grateful. 

Pray sincerely, act courageously. 

Monday, October 21, 2013

the beauty in a lyric

There's a fine line between our progress and our instability. 
We can't help ourselves but hunt for more. 
A design flaw? 
Or the olive branch that proves the shore - 
The catalyst we've waited for. 

Monday, October 14, 2013

///

I've always hated "lol." I think it is a cliche space filler. Yet recently, I've let myself indulge in the Laugh Out Loud's. And I love them. 


Sean Nicholas. 
The first name I've ever written in this little blog of mine. 
Now see what you made me do?

Friday, October 11, 2013

////just want to share this beautiful


So let's press undo.
Rearrange the old and call it new -
January white.

Every calendar is playing the same old trick:
A year will disappear, replaced with counterfeit
But we'll never really mind.

'cause if nothing else, we're given a little time
To change the game, a chance to redefine
Everything we are,
In our January white.

This year is a sealed envelope,
A culmination of hopes,
The lottery result that we've been crossing fingers for.

We could paint our walls a lighter shade of blue,
Or we could pack our bags and change the entire view
To January white.

If nothing else, we're given a little time
To change the heart in which we change our minds;
Our hourglasses turn.

This year is a sealed envelope;
With apprehensive hope
We brace for anything.
I swear, I understand that nothing changes that,
The past will be the past,
But the future is brighter than any flashback.

Well, we could let our guards down a little easier this time,
We could trust that when there's joy, there's nothing dark behind.
In spite of history,
Hope is January white.

This year, we're starting over again
Letter openers in hand,
A chance to take a chance.
I swear, I understand that the past will be the past,
And nothing changes that,
But the future is brighter than any flashback.



Thursday, August 8, 2013

QT, Cutie.

Why I love QuikTrip more than just about anything. 
And why you should, too.

Firstly. They carry crushed ice (the perfect and crisp and crunchy kind). Secondly. Both the Styrofoam 32 oz cups AND the plastic 32oz cups are coequal in cost, although unquestionably unequivalent in quality! No more worrying about that water-logged condensation sousing your unhampered hands, clothes, car, etc – just get the Styrofoam! FO’ ONLY SENNENTY-FIVE CENT!! You heard me right. In the summer… the drinks are cheap. Real cheap. 75 cents cheap. Three quarters? Child’s play!  

Quiktrip employees are also well, quick! No pun intended – seriously. I walk to the counter and by the time they have me rung up, checked out, and say, “Thanks, see you next time” I haven’t even begun to blink or think and I've probably wet myself. They leave my in a state of dumb-founded, utter bewilderment. Every. Damn. Time. Well played, QT, well played.

Quiktrip also is bad at spelling. In case you didn’t know, “Quick” is spelled q-u-i-c-k. But the tricky Quiktrip throws that last superfluous C to the curb! And for any of you out there who know me what-so-ever… you know I’m a depressingly bad speller. Quiktrip and I are one in mind …& alphabet.

& Finally… A Quiktrip run. Ah, did you hear that? Music. Going on that endeared Quiktrip Run is the heartbeat of like… life. I mean, it always has been for the Neeley’s. From landing a rooOoOoOooster booster, or a caffeine-free-diet coke with ¾ crushed ice to costuming as young, redneck, pregnant yoke going in for beer and coming out with SunnyD… some of my most cherished family memories have been inside this Quiktrip on Southlake Boulevard. So maybe that’s why I like it. I’m a cheap nostalgic – and I am in a constant state of missing my dear family. So, Quiktrip – welcome to the family! (Sorry about the cankles.)


QT in hand! Go for gold, Rach! 
Pre-Quiktripping. 


Plus! They have funny ads. Like this one:
“Like Fine Wine. Except it tastes nasty. Guaranteed Gasoline.”



So there’s my argument. Sorry, 7-11. Sorry, Racetrack. I’m not really thaaat sorry, Maverick. None of you even compare.




p.s. You know you’re an over-emotional girl when you write a completely serious sentimental blog post on… well, a gas station. 

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Don't Mess

I was born and raised nestled between my treasured twins; Dallas and Fort Worth, Texas. And although there’s always been a potence in my pride for this state… I’ve never really been a true Texan. In fact, until quite recently I’ve always hated the typical “Texan”.

But today, I’m a Texan.

With “Bless your heart” & “Honey” lining our lips, we watch the rolling thunder and lightning overtake the water we were boating and floating on just hours before. Carelessly crowding the lofty twilight in cut-offs & cowboy boots, eating sunflower seeds, listening to the southern comfort of Kenny Chesney & cicadas, talking about spending money that none of us have. We talk loud, laugh louder, and sarcastically scream “ya’ll”. Aimlessly driving through canopies of starlight on Snakey roads – our sunroof up, our hair down, and our summery sun soaking every square  – occasionally stopping for the Ice Cream Place, an impromptu road-side two-step, a CVS lollipop. I even happen-stanced upon four Armadillos carouseling the street-side cobblestone and yipped a lil’, “aaawh, how cute!” Add The Texas Rangers, The Drive-In, chicken fried steak, weekend fireworks, really bad dad jokes, Independence Day, fresh lemonade, & sweet tea… then drenching it all in a home-style gravy… And you’ve got Texas.

All in the bed of my boyfriend’s GMC truck. 

And see, this is what I love. All my life, I’ve always wanted to be super swanky, sharp – anything & everything classy. But yah know… I’ve always been wrong. This summer, this summer was for the unorganized. For the unintentional. For the unsophisticated. For the Texan. 

Oh, And I officially prefer Whataburger to McDonalds. 
And I’ve never been a happier human being.


Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Maggie's Story

I wrote this for our sweet Maggie Flora in an introductory writing class at BYU in 2011.  I stumbled upon it today and decided to post. It's pretty poorly written, but this isn't to impress - this is to honor Miss Maggie Anne.  Enjoy! 


Maggie’s Story


It was a day of boys, fruit punch, and anxious ambition. It was a day of no subsequent consequence, joy, or accident. It was just a day in April, and we were just two elementary school girls who thought we were far cooler than we were.


Being a nine year old girl, my favorite part of the day was always recess. Especially since I had met Maggie. She was just about as goofy as I was, if not even more. I met Maggie on the school bus, and we immediately clicked. Maggie was my role model; she was funny, creative, sweet, smart, everything an eight year old girl thought would make for a perfect person. Everyday on our bumpy bus ride, we would pass away the minutes by coming up with a new game to play at recess. We pretended we were scientists, archaeologists,  super models, astronauts, everything. Today, we decided to be singers; we were going to be just like Avril Lavigne, S-club 7, or Aaron Carter. This adventure took a little bit of planning. Not only were we going to be singers, but we were going to put on a concert for our class in the school tree house. Being giddy little girls, we immediately starting imagining our careers taking off as pop stars. We were sure we would be famous, and if we didn’t get famous, we’d at least get a boyfriend. Maybe even a first kiss. As the bus rolled to a stop in front of our shabby little elementary school, we thought of the last line to our song: “‘cause I love you… more than fruit punch”. Although we wrote no chorus, no verses, and no catchy bridge, we had that one simple line. That line was what carried us through the next week. We constantly talked about our ‘band’. We even called ourselves the ‘sugar babies’; but naturally we pronounced it Sug-ah Babe-ees. Maggie’s mom had made us mustard yellow t-shirts. Which although mustard yellow is now seen in every anthropology magazine, in first grade it was a new color. Trend-setting was never our thing, but this time, we wanted the world to see us.


We passed the days singing through the hallways, meeting at the bathroom during math lessons, eating our lunch while writing lyrics, and giggling every morning in the back of the bus. We prepared for our Friday concert far more than we ever prepared for our Mad Minute Math races or our spelling tests. As recess came that Friday, we set stage for our big performance. Although we had maybe five people watching our performance, most of whom just so happened to be in the tree house that afternoon, we felt like we were in Times Square on New Years Eve and everyone was watching. I belted “Cause I love you… more than fruit punch!” with more passion and confidence than I had ever had before. We ended with an awkward silence, but it did not matter. Nothing mattered, because we were Aly & AJ, we were The Jonas Brothers, we were the A-Teens. We were the Sugar Babies and we were on top of the world.  


At the end of the day I had one question for Maggie: “Why do we pretend to be different people everyday? Why can’t we just pretend to be Jenna and Maggie?”


“Because, Jenna, pretending is our escape from reality. When we pretend, we can be whoever we want to be.”


*     *     *


It was a day of swimming noodles, burger’s lake, and Texas’ summer sun. It was a day of no subsequent consequence, joy, or accident. It was just a day in July, and we were just two middle school girls who thought we were far better swimmers than we were.


Burger’s lake is a slimy, nasty, old lake with a couple rope swings that will leave your hands covered in endless slivers. I still to this day do not understand why, but I loved that nasty place. Every summer, as Texas’ summer sun scorched our backs, Maggie and I would spend hours jumping in and out of that lake.


Our parents would usually drive us, but today there were too many conflicts and we did not have a ride. As ambitious 6th graders, we were still bound and determined to still make it up to Burger’s Lake. After much deliberation, we decided to take the train to the Lake. Because the old-fashioned ride had a stop right outside the lake entrance, our parents reluctantly agreed. We packed our tuna-fish sandwiches, our pool noodles, and our goggles and were ready for our first outing with just the two of us. As we boarded the train, we immediately felt like Harry and Ron on our way to Hogwarts. Although we did not have wizardly powers and our final destination was nothing as mystical as Hogwarts, we still beamed as we waited for our pretend treat trolley to come down the walk way. Reaching burger’s lake was probably better than all Christmas’s and birthday’s combined. Even though we had been there a hundred times, this time felt different. This time we had gotten there on our own. This time we were actually treated like real teen-agers. We walked through that lake like we owned the place. With our noses held high and our flip-flops flopping, we marched to our usual picnic table. To our surprise, it was already taken by a mom and her four daughters. Although a little discouraged and upset that our perfect day was turned a little side-ways by a picnic table covered in graffiti, we anxiously awaited our day as almost adults.  


            We finally set off for the first platform jump. The feeling of being mature glazed our eyes to what was actually safe, and we started acting a bit reckless. As Maggie sprinted off the highest platform, I knew it wouldn’t end well. Maggie was flying through the air, and she actually looked quite graceful. Until… Flop. Gasps filled the swampy air. Maggie performed the most fantastic belly-flop I had ever witnessed. Fantastically painful, that is. As Maggie crawled out of the water, I could tell the day was over. We spent the next three hours having different moms and babysitters pity us, scold us, and some try to help us. Our day was officially over; we officially were not teenagers; and we were officially never allowed to go back to Burger’s Lake by ourselves again.


At the end of the day I had one question for Maggie: “Why do you love to go to Burger’sLake every day in the summer? It’s just an old, nasty, lake with a couple of rope swings.”


“Because, Jenna, Burger’s Lake is my escape from reality. When I am here I feel like I can do anything.”


*     *     *


It was a day of imagination, deep conversation, and art. It was a day of no subsequent consequence, joy, or accident. It was just a day in October, and we were just two high school girls who thought we were far more artistic than we were.


Maggie is an artist. She colors canvas’ and spreads beauty throughout a lonely surface. Completely immersing herself in her artwork, Maggie not only grew as an artist, but also as a person. I guess you could call me an artist too, but a better description would be ‘a girl who just took art classes’. Although I could never astonish people with my art like Maggie could, I loved drawing things, people, events, emotions, anything. Everyday, Maggie and I rode the bus from one school to another for our art class sixth period. It was extremely un-cool to ride the bus between our high school’s split campus’, but we did not care. Our most intimate secrets had been shared in the back seats of that bus, ever since we were little girls. This particular day, I remember being in such an intense conversation that the bus driver had to yell at us in order for us to realize that the bus had arrived at the school. We tried to cover up our embarrassment, and walked out the bus with our head’s hung low.


Although I do not remember the exact words spoken that day on the bus, I do remember what those words influenced me to paint. I painted fruit punch. A simple glass of fruit punch that had spilled; where the liquid should have been running, a coarse rope swing covered in nasty lake moss hung; where the stain should have been there was only a life. A beautiful life filled with color, imagination, and happiness. It seemed as if  I was not controlling the brush strokes anymore. I completely immersed myself in my art. Whatever advice Maggie gave to me that particular day on the bus; whatever profound things she had to say about my latest crush, Drew Cossu; whatever story she told; it made an impression on me. It gave me inspiration that I did not even know existed. Maggie inspired me.


At the end of the day, I had one question for Maggie: “Why do we spend hours immersing ourselves drawing, sketching, and sculpting?”


“Because, Jenna, art is our escape from reality. When I am drawing I feel like anything is possible.”


*     *     *



Maggie died on September 5th, 2008. She was only 15 years old. This beautiful little girl had lost sight of her promising future. She had forgotten how to find happiness in the simplicity of playing pretend, of jumping into a dirty lake, of drawing a beautiful portrait. Every person she touched could never forget what value her life in particular had. Maggie could never find her escape from reality; she could never grasp an escape that made her happy. Being at BrighamYoung University, I have found my own escape. My escape is my reality. I know I am who I am because of Maggie Flora; I know I live my life in such a way that honors her short life. Maggie Flora was literally a gem among the brush; she taught everyone she every touched so much. No one would ever forget her goofy personality, her giggly laugh, and her bubbly sense of humor; I will never forget Maggie Flora. Now, as our graduating class is spread across America at different colleges and universities, Maggie’s florescent example is impacting people everywhere. We all live for Maggie. Everyday, I am living for Maggie.





Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Bad Body Doubles


Sometimes, I really love history. But as both my mother and my high-school AP World History teacher know
...only sometimes.

Traveling to Xi’an, China was just one of those times.
   

       Xi-an is the land of the Terra-Cotta Warriors. Up until I actually went to Xi’an, that’s all I really knew about this historic interurban. But this place rules. I mean, this place still has a city wall that was engineered by Emperor Qin Shi Huang in 259 BC. Emperor Qin was the pioneer Emperor of China, beginning his rule at the age of twenty-two until he died at fifty-five (…he would throw back Mercury on the daily, knowing it is would make him live longer... well surprise surprise, it killed him. He's an idiot.) But! He must have done something right because he basically birthed China like a parent. And when I say "something right" I actually mean he just declared war on his own country to promote a unified country-loyalty. Like I said, he’s an idiot. But who’s being harsh here? Not me. He is entombed in a mini-mountain that took over three decades to build - for those of you who know MontpellierIdaho… it just looks like a copy-cat ‘M’ hill. 2.6 kilometers from his tomb lay the Terra-Cotta Warriors. (Which by the way, Terra-Cotta is actually the material they are made of... I always assumed it was the name of some antediluvian army. I was wrong; I’m also an idiot.) 
       These warriors were unearthed in 1960 by a farmer who was digging a well in his backyard. & they are basically just thousands of life-size clay warriors of varying heights, weights, and heart-rates all facing away from Emperor Qin's tomb as if they are protecting him from the evil spirits of the underworld? Emperor Qin actually had replicas of all his real-life soldiers carved out of Terra-Cotta - from the nose to the eyes to the finger nail lengths, these warriors were a perfect copy; each individualized. But… what I never realized… these ancient soldiers would never get to see their stone look-alikes because the emperor would kill them immediately after the statue was carved! So that "their spirits would guard his tomb!" And what's worse?! Each warrior would John Hancock the back left shoulder of his deposit double as a "final goodbye" kind of thing. Crazy, huh?! So every statue I saw was an actual person once upon a time... who was morbidly murdered. I don’t know about you, but I think that’s creepier than a graveyard. Just over eight-thousand statues are open to the elements… but there are probably thousands more all surrounding the emperor's tomb. I mean... Emperor Qin... the guy can't get any more selfish. Right?! And I just can't get over the idea of a man who spent three decades building his own tomb, that’s all.  

Well, there is your history lesson for the day – you can skip class tomorrow. On me. 





p.s. - whoever knows what the title of this post is from... wins my heart 

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Yangshuo, China

Yangshuo, China
The Dr. Seuss Mountains

What, an American?
And Canadians, Russians & Africans.
From Vexatious Street Vendors
To Bamboo Rafting, Vespa Ride Losing & Camel Abusing.
A Beautiful Birthday Girl on a Bike.

Yi, Er, San, Si... 
Finding love in a veggie burger; Finding home in Kelly’s
"Where can I find a Gay Venue?"
Mud Caves, Men's Clothes, Moon Hill, 
A Withdrawn Wife on West Street,
...and Sponge Bob Penis Pants.


& Desserts on Desserts on Dessert on Desserts. 
Did I mention Desserts? 


Thursday, March 28, 2013

Ode to Chinese T-Shirts


#1 “My boyfriend's a Hells Angel”
A little boy nonchalantly sauntered into class dressed to kill. If only he knew… Prop 8 for lyyyfe..?

#3 "Clouds. hsgdvkjqhvkjbsdjvk”
That’s not a word but keep trying

#4 “It’s Boyfriend Season"
Don’t hate the player, hate the game... right?


 #5 “Don’t Fu*k My Ass”
[Sorrysorrysorry for the vulgarity] 
But this… this is gold. PLUS this was taken at a nearby university. I’d so love to see what Brigham Young University would do if I boastfully debouched campus sporting this lovely thang? 


And many, many, many, many, manymanymanymany more! 


Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Ode to Avatars

Last week, I was lucky enough wanderlust the weekend away in Zhangjiajie, China// the home of the Avatars! Okay, maybe not the Avatars… but the Avatar Mountains! Blanketed in a gilded green canopy, these statuesque, stand-alone mountains are nestled right between heaven and a chicken salad croissant sandwich! Zhangjiajie National Park, in China’s Hunan Province, has been more or less out of the international tourist radar in the past, but that is definitely going to change. And soon. Following a soaking rain, a soupily sensible fog will settle over the valley, dressing the base of these pillar-like mountains in a buttermilk brume – creating, The Floating Mountains. The perfect fantasy dreamland.


Within minutes, I was completely transfixed. My mind melted a little more with each belief binding view. How did they happen?! “Summer’s erosion and winter’s expanding ice” is just not a good enough answer for me. Why not anywhere else?! Why only here!? How?! Baa! Anyway, forget my total volcanic mind eruption… our hostile was within a right-out-of-a-movie mountain town. With wood cabins, crisp air, antique cottages, and cute locals. I felt like this village was my own hidden treasure; my personal, yet infinite, secret garden. And I never wanted to leave. Needless to say, I thoroughly enjoyed my weekend filled with 3,100 sandstone pillars, street vendors, zzzt, cable cars, “China Pants”, ponchos, phony student I.D. cards, frustrated Chinese employees, guilty discounts, “…and it wasn’t weird”, rude chain smokers, hunchbacks, slurp the P juice through a straw, a 365 story elevator, “Dani! Daaani! Oh bay-bee”, credit card swiping, female leg scissoring, buses on buses on buses, stairs on stairs on stairs, Asians on Asians on Asians, rich food, and even richer conversation. All completely inhabited by these rowdy lil’ wild monkeys. Just the way I like it.  

But… I so badly wanted to ruin all sentimental beauty of this place and just paint myself blue and hide in a bush whispering “I see you.” But I figured that I’d probably just call more attention to myself by just being white. 




And I really love all these people: 



Sunday, March 17, 2013

"For We Are Together"


Absolutely, positively - my most-adorned stem of China is the Sabbath Day!

       On the first Sunday, abaft a habitually unified and robust ballad of Battle Hymn of the Republic, the Spirit flooded through the pocketed apartment we sat in. The solitary thought that soaked my mind was “we are not alone, for we are together.” It is so easy to feel desolate and a little detached here as I am so far from what I’ve consistently considered home. But that day, the supportive arms of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints were cultivating me completely. Our District President, sweet President Turner, knew we were coming to Zhongshan, sending us sacrament trays, sacrament cloths, hymnals, and 13 folding chairs that we could use for our 'remote-access' Sunday meetings. The blooming package arrived with no label, no return address. Along with it came a sound system to hook up to our computer so that we could Skype into the branch which conducts its meetings about an hour away in Guangzhou. I am an active member of a branch. It is a trifling toy in this church’s telescope… and it may only be over Skype, but it is strong and it is true. 
       I've never felt more love from my Savior than I have in the last three weeks; for I know that I am supported and I know that I am never alone. The Lord is acutely aware of me and He has an unmitigated love for me which omnipotently protects me. I absolutely believe that this church and it’s gospel really are unquestionably true: wherever you are


Friday, March 15, 2013

Ode to China


Hey, stranger!

I currently live in Zhongshan, China teaching English at Kaiyin Kindergarten and I can assure you that I have a better life than you. I spend my days with some blowzy little Asian dumplings – and they are irrepressibly risible, yet riotous at. all. times. They are five year olds. And they are easily stuffed into suitcases; don't worry. 


I have been squatting here for about three weeks. And when I say squatting, I actually mean squatting. In China, you do not sit on the ground, you squat. You do not use benches at the bus stop, you squat. You do not even use a westernized toilet, you squat. I will have the thighs of Hercules by the time I am home.

With that being said, I officially deem Zhongshan, China flawlessly faultless in every feasible way! I love these students; I love these people; I love this town! If I could live here until forever… I’d be a happy woman!


Wednesday, January 23, 2013

"Stefan, we need to talk"


just hangin out w/ stefan 
(now that he's singlin' & minglin' and all) 

[the unspoken & unspeakable Jenna Neeley in a world of 
uncannily good-looking vampires, witches, and were-wolves]


Thanks for the portrait, Heather! You rule! 


Sunday, January 20, 2013

A Sing-a-Long Song


A brilliant man taught me that sometimes, it's okay to hate! 


And when you really hate something... 
just sing along.

La La La La La La La La La La
La La La La La La La 
La La La La La La La La La La
La La La La La 

Because then, you really don't hate anything anymore. 


La La La La La La 
I just "La La La" my hates & frustrations out. What do you do? 



Friday, January 18, 2013

Can I make a Devlin?


I was watching Just Go With It the other night with my two younger siblings. This movie is a forever favorite of mine, for reasons I could never explain. But! Regardless… it makes me wet myself every time. Especially when Jennifer Aniston’s character explains how her family uses the word “Devlin” instead of “poop”. Example: rather than saying, “Mom, can I take a dump?” They ask, “Mom, can I make a Devlin?”

"Devlin" is, in fact, an old, but hated, sorority sister.

Every family has a Devlin. 
We've have figured out who ours is…

Who is yours?
Who would you name your poop after? 


Sunday, January 13, 2013

Happy Sunday!


"By learning of Him, by believing in Him, by following Him, there is the capacity to become like Him. [Our] countenance can change; [our] heart can be softened; [our] step can be quickened; [our] outlook enhanced. 
Life becomes what it should become."      
 -Pres. Thomas S. Monson

Happy Sabbath, Everyone!



& on a little less reverent note - as I read this months Ensign, I saw a picture of the dear President Erying & noticed something a bit silly:


But I still adore this man and his perpetual pillar of light to us all! 

I am so grateful for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints
& the happiness that it's gospel brings me. 
Because I'm not sure how I could be any happier! 



Friday, January 11, 2013

Like Summer in January


My current life in Texas… tranquilizing. To say the least.

I awaken my aurora by going to the gym. Impressive, I know I kno-haa-ow. Except… I work out at the Grapevine Fitness Center. And therefore, I elliptical next to four 75-year-old women. And all 4 of them are in better shape than me. But I’m not embarrassed.

I spend my afternoons and evenings serving wine drunks and beer bastards at Fish City Grill. I’m a waitress, and I am good at my job. No, of course I would never cut you off, ma’am. And yes! I’d love to see you drunk, sir. Let me even drive your car home for you. But it’s all okay because when I am working, I can pretend I’m a southern belle and speak with a heavy Texan drawl, ya’ll. 

And I typically spend the night speaking in nonsense with my little brother and sister who still live at home.  

I don't go to school, I don't have a car & I don't have many friends. I do clean a lot, I do read many books & I do eat entire boxes of chocolates. And I do get to spend every second with my precious family. 

Which I wouldn't trade for the world. 




& at least I'm not in this winter wretchedness: 




Thursday, January 10, 2013

A very late, very Merry Christmas!


 I always forget how much I love my home around Christmas!

To an outside observer, my home is the usual over-decorated conglomerate of wreaths, santas, and nativity scenes. But to me... this is what it looks like:

We are officially the only house on my entire street who puts up Christmas lights, but that sure doesn’t stop my father. Oh no. He cloaks our home in a canopy of scintillescent sparkles. It may sound tacky, and it might actually be tacky, but to me, my house looks like a genuine gingerbread house (minus the candy canes, I hate those).

We have two Christmas trees. Our downstairs tree is fancifully covered in gold and erubescent glass ornaments. The upstairs tree is ‘santa’s’ tree. This tree is hidden under hand crafted ornaments; from preschool, elementary school, and Sunday school classes. I personally have an ornament from every year of elementary school - I turned my yearbook photo into a snowman or angel or Christmas tree (why, oh why my teacher thought it’d be cute to put my face on a Christmas tree is beyond me.) We have a glittered pine cone from 1985 on that tree. And four yarn ornaments that my mother made on my parents first Christmas together. 

Oh, and my little brother can karate kick the electric star right off the top of that tree.

We have four carolers sitting on our dining room table; a mom, a dad, a son, and a daughter. My mom made these at a relief society activity years ago, but I always liked pretending that they are a 'yours, mine, and ours' family and the brother & sister are aaactually falling in love while singing "Hark! The Harold Angels Sing". 

We have home-made felt stockings that always hang on the fireplace. Mine is easily the best, but I’m sure all my other siblings will argue that. My oldest sister’s is a dancing Christmas tree. With eyes. And a smile. Again, why oh why are Christmas trees allowed to have faces?

Next to these stockings sits our life-long ligneous friend, Rudolph. He used to have babies made out of clothes pins… but they've moved on to bigger & better places (like the couch cushions and the toy boxes and… the trash.) And just for the record, he is a terrible rocking horse. 

We have three special nutcrackers. They were once made to sing for our dear eldest brothers while they were on their missions years ago. Lemme tell ya, I don’t know what gender they are… but those lil crackers can harmonize any hymn.

There is this nativity scene puzzle, too. That damn puzzle. I swear, it took me almost eight Christmas' to finally put it together, and once I did... mom took it apart and placed Joseph & Mary & Baby Jesus back in their peaceful positions. 

& sometimes even an old Christmas Homecoming Mum I was given my Sophomore year of High School adds to the mess.  

Add twenty-seven people and twenty-four years of memories, and we've got the trifecta! 


A Christmas in my home is filled with history.
And that’s the way I like it!


Christmas 2006
Christmas 2007
Christmas 2008
Christmas 2009
Christmas 2010
Christmas 2011
Christmas 2012


A very late, very Merry Christmas, ya’ll!
& to all a good night!
(or some kind of well-wishing like that)