"Peace in this life and eternal salvation in the life to come"

I am a human terrified of change. Petrified. So this semester… new city, new apartment, new program, new roommates, new roads, new curling iron, new people, places & things… you can imagine my anxiety. And if you can not, I will describe it in six words: I gave myself stress-induced stomach ulcers. Okay, maybe that’s seven. Do hyphenated words count as two or one? Regardless, life came at me so quick I just threw it all up. Literally (accented British-ly).

But can I say something crazy? (Unintentional, yet completely subconsciously perfect Frozen reference…) One day, I just wasn't scared anymore. Because for the first time in forever (yes, Frozen again.), I was not making decisions on my own. & Never in my life have I felt more unreasoned and unquestioned comfort. Like things were just right. I knew that where I was headed… was exactly where I needed to be. And while making these curiously life-shattering decisions… when everything I knew was cocooning into a shriveled pine-cone… I was okay. I was at peace. I was… happy! I am so so so happy! So although both my mother & I DTR my decisions to death… I absolutely know that my Savior has directed me to this happiness. He knows where I've been, who I've become, and what I need.

And so when my perfect little planned life stubbed it’s toe on a metal garden liner… It only means that my Heavenly Father has something better for me. And I’ll tell you what… I've got a pretty stinking good plan laid out for myself in my head. So if His is better… I say bring it on. I’m ready. I dare you to make my life better than I can even imagine. Bring it absolutely on.

And now look at me. Only three weeks into the semester… already knowing this will be the best one yet. See, Jenna… all this change has actually made you the happiest you've ever been. Didn't see that one coming, did you?  

So here I go… I’m doing it. And I don’t care…

#seriouslysoblessed 

Speaks so Loudly

The Great Dictator

I’m sorry, but I don’t want to be an emperor. That’s not my business. I don’t want to rule or conquer anyone. I should like to help everyone - if possible - Jew, Gentile - black man - white. We all want to help one another. Human beings are like that. We want to live by each other’s happiness - not by each other’s misery. We don’t want to hate and despise one another. In this world there is room for everyone. And the good earth is rich and can provide for everyone. The way of life can be free and beautiful, but we have lost the way.

Greed has poisoned men’s souls, has barricaded the world with hate, has goose-stepped us into misery and bloodshed. We have developed speed, but we have shut ourselves in. Machinery that gives abundance has left us in want. Our knowledge has made us cynical. Our cleverness, hard and unkind. We think too much and feel too little. More than machinery we need humanity. More than cleverness we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost....

The aeroplane and the radio have brought us closer together. The very nature of these inventions cries out for the goodness in men - cries out for universal brotherhood - for the unity of us all. Even now my voice is reaching millions throughout the world - millions of despairing men, women, and little children - victims of a system that makes men torture and imprison innocent people.

To those who can hear me, I say - do not despair. The misery that is now upon us is but the passing of greed - the bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress. The hate of men will pass, and dictators die, and the power they took from the people will return to the people. And so long as men die, liberty will never perish. 

Soldiers! don’t give yourselves to brutes - men who despise you - enslave you - who regiment your lives - tell you what to do - what to think and what to feel! Who drill you - diet you - treat you like cattle, use you as cannon fodder. Don’t give yourselves to these unnatural men - machine men with machine minds and machine hearts! You are not machines! You are not cattle! You are men! You have the love of humanity in your hearts! You don’t hate! Only the unloved hate - the unloved and the unnatural! Soldiers! Don’t fight for slavery! Fight for liberty!

In the 17th Chapter of St Luke it is written: “the Kingdom of God is within man” - not one man nor a group of men, but in all men! In you! You, the people have the power - the power to create machines. The power to create happiness! You, the people, have the power to make this life free and beautiful, to make this life a wonderful adventure.

Then - in the name of democracy - let us use that power - let us all unite. Let us fight for a new world - a decent world that will give men a chance to work - that will give youth a future and old age a security. By the promise of these things, brutes have risen to power. But they lie! They do not fulfil that promise. They never will!

Dictators free themselves but they enslave the people! Now let us fight to fulfil that promise! Let us fight to free the world - to do away with national barriers - to do away with greed, with hate and intolerance. Let us fight for a world of reason, a world where science and progress will lead to all men’s happiness. Soldiers! in the name of democracy, let us all unite!

so good

Well, today was a bad day. I could not focus. I felt like a bad student. I felt like a bad employee. I accidentally missed an important meeting. I ate too much. Leaving me in a food coma for five hours. I was bugged. I felt alone. I felt like I wanted to quit the stress. And I was farting a lot.

So what did the Lord bless me with? The ability to recall all I've learned in the last two months of school and get a perfect score on my Media Writing mid-term. Did I deserve that? Absolutely no.

In continence of last week... I just want you to see how good our Savior is! Because it took me far too long to see and completely open my heart. All we must do it be available to Him... & he will bless us so! I can't believe I've been so blind until now. The Lord is with me (and you!) in every moment. Giving encouragement when needed; hope when desired; and love at all times, in all things, in all places.

I'm corny,

But I like it.

Today, I'm Grateful

I only have a minute – but I never want to forget this.

This week was foreseen to be the most stressful of my academic being. With three major mid-terms, I’ve been pressed for both time and energy. Walking home from the library each night at midnight, I have thought, “I’m walking straight up to my room and going to bed until the end of forever.” But as I get home and CeraVe away the grime and grief of the day, I remember… The Lord will bless me for obedience. I just know it. So I read a quick chapter on my Gospel Library app, listen to a bit of the Prophet’s spoken word, and facilely fall asleep.

My result for simple steps?  My Savior pointing a finger in my face, saying,

“SEE! If you just obey, Jenna!”

Almost, “oh watch me now, girl.” 

Because... starting Tuesday morning. I was focused. I was productive. Tender mercies. Tuesday evening. I received an e-mail from my professor saying that due to complications with the mid-term, it will be pushed back next week. Wednesday morning. Statistics concepts that had confused me for weeks became clear. Wednesday afternoon. I won a headline writing contest and was rewarded a bag of Hershey’s kisses: my fat kid motivation for continual study throughout the night.  Wednesday night. The library closed with a robust rendition of How Firm a Foundation, in which the words, “fear not I am with thee, oh be not afraid” rang through the hard-backs and soft-covers alike. Thursday morning. A second professor postponed our midterm, giving me the entire week to stuff my brains out. This afternoon? I receive a sweet text from my father saying that he received a big promotion at work… and that he loved me. A lot. 

Although typically I wouldn't bat an eyelash at these minor miracles, this week it was my Saviors way of saying, “See…”  And this may seem like the silly Laurel’s lesson anecdote, but… These silly things are what bless me the most. The silly sacrifices. The silly things that remind me of the love my Savior has for me.Which in the end, isn't that silly at all. So why do we ever become ungrateful? I truly believe that my Heavenly Father was waiting for me; begging me to allow his blessings to unequivocally comfort & compass me. And I couldn't be more grateful. 

Pray sincerely, act courageously. 

the beauty in a lyric

There's a fine line between our progress and our instability. 

We can't help ourselves but hunt for more. 

A design flaw? 

Or the olive branch that proves the shore - 

The catalyst we've waited for. 

///

I've always hated "lol." I think it is a cliche space filler. Yet recently, I've let myself indulge in the Laugh Out Loud's. And I love them. 

Sean Nicholas. 

The first name I've ever written in this little blog of mine. 

Now see what you made me do?

////just want to share this beautiful

So let's press undo.

Rearrange the old and call it new -
January white.

Every calendar is playing the same old trick:
A year will disappear, replaced with counterfeit
But we'll never really mind.

'cause if nothing else, we're given a little time
To change the game, a chance to redefine
Everything we are,
In our January white.

This year is a sealed envelope,
A culmination of hopes,
The lottery result that we've been crossing fingers for.

We could paint our walls a lighter shade of blue,
Or we could pack our bags and change the entire view
To January white.

If nothing else, we're given a little time
To change the heart in which we change our minds;
Our hourglasses turn.

This year is a sealed envelope;
With apprehensive hope
We brace for anything.
I swear, I understand that nothing changes that,
The past will be the past,
But the future is brighter than any flashback.

Well, we could let our guards down a little easier this time,
We could trust that when there's joy, there's nothing dark behind.
In spite of history,
Hope is January white.

This year, we're starting over again
Letter openers in hand,
A chance to take a chance.
I swear, I understand that the past will be the past,
And nothing changes that,
But the future is brighter than any flashback.