Guilty as Charged.

Okay, I’m embarrassed.

Because you know what I love? More than anything? In the world? T-Swifty. Yup. You heard that right. Jenna Neeley loves getting ready in the morning to Taylor Swift. And she loves singing it even more. 

TayTay-Baby is always in love! ...Or she’s always heart broken. She's been married twice, engaged once, divorced three times & in thirty-two serious relationships. Out of those 32, she was left broken-hearted twenty-one times & cheated on seven... but got revenge fourteen times. She's dumped twelve boys. And promised one that they were never ever eeeeveeer getting back together!

Judge me as you may. I don’t care.There is just something about her awkward dancing. And that heavy kick drum at the beginning of every song. Or the catchy bridge. I don’t know what her secret is.

But I love her. 

And why am I admitting this now? In public? Because last night my sweet boy came over with a “surprise” for me. What did he bring? Yup, that’s right. The new, unreleased Taylor Swift CD. He knows me. & my secrets. So, I will be listening and singing it for the rest of forever.

& it doesn't come out until next week. Who’s the hipster music elitist now? Yup… still me. ;)

My Tree

This is my favorite memory:

I was a lover of things. But I couldn’t see or agree how the winter could bring the darkest spring. Not this spring. And even though a fall current crept through this gloaming April eventide, the spring of 2007 was silvery and sweet. We walked through a cemetery. I gravitated towards a big tree tucked away in the far left corner. At its base was an octopus of roots twisting around my pre-cankled ankles. It seemed so big. I felt so small. This untaught thought captured the innocuous focus of my 13 year-old self. I wrapped my arms around this tree, my tree, and I could feel the charmed curse of comfort slowly collapsing. 

& just like that.

Things got in the way. 

Happy Weekend!

"We must not wait until we are ready to die 

before we truly learn to live."

 - President Uchtdorf

"A general conference of this Church is a remarkable occasion indeed - it is an institutional declaration that the heavens are open, that divine guidance is as real today as it was for the ancient house of Israel, that God our Heavenly Father loves us and speaks His will through a living prophet." 

-Jeffrey R. Holland

Mr. Thunder Thighs.

You wanna know the worst thing? Like ever?

You're at a restaurant, with a bountiful basket of rolls taunting you from across the table. You want one. You need one. Quite frankly, you will probably fill your 'snack' and 'entree' quadrants on those bad boys before your meal even comes out. & you're perfectly okay with that.

But wait. The only thing they give you to spread on your European Baker's roll is an individually wrapped cuboid of butter?And what's even worse? It's too frozen & solidified to even spread on your roll. This restaurant has given you a mini glacier. On a small place. Delicately wrapped in gold foil. A siberian glacier from antartica. Probably the same one the Titanic hit.

And now it's sitting on your roll. Ruining your perfect roll. A square of saturated fat. And it's probably not even butter. It's margarine. Curse you, trans-fats. I just want my garlic dinner roll.

Well, Ladies & Gentleman. Here's the insiders scoop... the band-aid to all benumb butter botherations... Put that little fatty cube in between your thighs before you try to spread it. It'll melt & soften in a matter of minutes and you will be able to smoothly paint your margarine masterpiece.   

& your thighs will be your newest dinner-secret best friend. 

Call me Butter, 

'Cause I'm on a Roll 

i want the whole wide world... to come dance with me!

Your mind is The Trickster.

& Your mind is Mean.

It doesn't care what day it is or even what year it is. It dredges stuff up from the past or worries about the future. It has little respect for your emotions and will often provide just the wrong thought at just the wrong time.

It will demand that Sex in a Pan right after you started dieting or day dream about someone other than your boyfriend right as you two are in the prime & peak of your relationship.

Your mind has so many ways of harassing you and it never, ever plays fair.

So, let’s play hooky on The Mind. Let's ditch the drama. Let's forget the stresses of college life. Let's just... let go! 

Let’s Dance.

Let’s allow our bodies fly, even for just a moment.

Move your body in whimsically windy ways.

Raise hell as you rollick and romp.   

Release The Mind. The surest way to dissolve to pressures of Brigham Young University is to shift your attention from your thoughts to your body. To your arm, or your leg or your belly or your cheeks or your knees or your elbows. Eating an apple? Dance. Walking to lunch? Dance. Yelling at your roommate? Dance. Waiting in line for the bathroom? Dance away that urgent urination! (yep, that dance.) 

Dancing from here to there reminds you that it is the journey; not the here or the there or the that or the who or the why. You think all day long, you dance very little, unless you are a dance instructor. Did you know that the suicide rate of dance instructors is the lowest of any occupation? I just made that up but it might be.

This is my dancing song: 

Goodbye, September!

10 Things I've Learned in the Month of September

1. Get off the couch. Don’t be lazy. If you find yourself playing hard to get, don’t pretend to be busy. Just be busy.
2. Don’t waste your time. If you have to play hard to get, move on. You’ll know when you’ve found a healthy relationship because it won’t confuse you.
3. When in doubt, shut up. Silence is a smart negotiation tactic. “She seems great” is an excellent thing to say about someone you don’t like because gossiping is trash-tacky nasty. Simple silence is the best option when you’re processing how to respond, and always more productive than lying about what you’re thinking.
4. Don’t obsess. Worrying is complaint’s ugly cousin. Either use that energy to change your situation, or relax. Incessantly talking about your latest problem is lame.
5. You look good. There’s no such thing as the hottest person in the room. Everyone is attracted to something different, so just take those odds and run with them.
6. Being nice is overrated. In fact, “nice” is the least interesting thing someone can say about you. So be you; be loud, be obnoxious, be quirky.
7. Know your audience. When you’re telling a story and someone ubiquitously interrupts you, let them. When you’re telling a story and someone eternally story-ups you, let them. Just don’t do the same.
8. Let it go. The world would be a lot nicer place is people learned to let the little things go. Not everything has to be a big, dramatic, fanfare of emotions.
9. Don’t be intimidated. World travelers are just people who bought plane tickets. Do what you want to be, be who you want to be. Let no one stop you.
10. You’re only living your twentieth year once. Buy trendy clothes, wear the slutty dress, do something ugly with your hair. Thrive in the college life.

Heeeello, October!
 

I have no room to judge...

But, may I just say, what the ever-loving hell, people?