so good

Well, today was a bad day. I could not focus. I felt like a bad student. I felt like a bad employee. I accidentally missed an important meeting. I ate too much. Leaving me in a food coma for five hours. I was bugged. I felt alone. I felt like I wanted to quit the stress. And I was farting a lot.

So what did the Lord bless me with? The ability to recall all I've learned in the last two months of school and get a perfect score on my Media Writing mid-term. Did I deserve that? Absolutely no.

In continence of last week... I just want you to see how good our Savior is! Because it took me far too long to see and completely open my heart. All we must do it be available to Him... & he will bless us so! I can't believe I've been so blind until now. The Lord is with me (and you!) in every moment. Giving encouragement when needed; hope when desired; and love at all times, in all things, in all places.

I'm corny,

But I like it.

Today, I'm Grateful

I only have a minute – but I never want to forget this.

This week was foreseen to be the most stressful of my academic being. With three major mid-terms, I’ve been pressed for both time and energy. Walking home from the library each night at midnight, I have thought, “I’m walking straight up to my room and going to bed until the end of forever.” But as I get home and CeraVe away the grime and grief of the day, I remember… The Lord will bless me for obedience. I just know it. So I read a quick chapter on my Gospel Library app, listen to a bit of the Prophet’s spoken word, and facilely fall asleep.

My result for simple steps?  My Savior pointing a finger in my face, saying,

“SEE! If you just obey, Jenna!”

Almost, “oh watch me now, girl.” 

Because... starting Tuesday morning. I was focused. I was productive. Tender mercies. Tuesday evening. I received an e-mail from my professor saying that due to complications with the mid-term, it will be pushed back next week. Wednesday morning. Statistics concepts that had confused me for weeks became clear. Wednesday afternoon. I won a headline writing contest and was rewarded a bag of Hershey’s kisses: my fat kid motivation for continual study throughout the night.  Wednesday night. The library closed with a robust rendition of How Firm a Foundation, in which the words, “fear not I am with thee, oh be not afraid” rang through the hard-backs and soft-covers alike. Thursday morning. A second professor postponed our midterm, giving me the entire week to stuff my brains out. This afternoon? I receive a sweet text from my father saying that he received a big promotion at work… and that he loved me. A lot. 

Although typically I wouldn't bat an eyelash at these minor miracles, this week it was my Saviors way of saying, “See…”  And this may seem like the silly Laurel’s lesson anecdote, but… These silly things are what bless me the most. The silly sacrifices. The silly things that remind me of the love my Savior has for me.Which in the end, isn't that silly at all. So why do we ever become ungrateful? I truly believe that my Heavenly Father was waiting for me; begging me to allow his blessings to unequivocally comfort & compass me. And I couldn't be more grateful. 

Pray sincerely, act courageously. 

the beauty in a lyric

There's a fine line between our progress and our instability. 

We can't help ourselves but hunt for more. 

A design flaw? 

Or the olive branch that proves the shore - 

The catalyst we've waited for. 

///

I've always hated "lol." I think it is a cliche space filler. Yet recently, I've let myself indulge in the Laugh Out Loud's. And I love them. 

Sean Nicholas. 

The first name I've ever written in this little blog of mine. 

Now see what you made me do?

////just want to share this beautiful

So let's press undo.

Rearrange the old and call it new -
January white.

Every calendar is playing the same old trick:
A year will disappear, replaced with counterfeit
But we'll never really mind.

'cause if nothing else, we're given a little time
To change the game, a chance to redefine
Everything we are,
In our January white.

This year is a sealed envelope,
A culmination of hopes,
The lottery result that we've been crossing fingers for.

We could paint our walls a lighter shade of blue,
Or we could pack our bags and change the entire view
To January white.

If nothing else, we're given a little time
To change the heart in which we change our minds;
Our hourglasses turn.

This year is a sealed envelope;
With apprehensive hope
We brace for anything.
I swear, I understand that nothing changes that,
The past will be the past,
But the future is brighter than any flashback.

Well, we could let our guards down a little easier this time,
We could trust that when there's joy, there's nothing dark behind.
In spite of history,
Hope is January white.

This year, we're starting over again
Letter openers in hand,
A chance to take a chance.
I swear, I understand that the past will be the past,
And nothing changes that,
But the future is brighter than any flashback.