You wanna know the worst thing? Like ever?
You're at a restaurant, with a bountiful basket of rolls taunting you from across the table. You want one. You need one. Quite frankly, you will probably fill your 'snack' and 'entree' quadrants on those bad boys before your meal even comes out. & you're perfectly okay with that.
But wait. The only thing they give you to spread on your European Baker's roll is an individually wrapped cuboid of butter?And what's even worse? It's too frozen & solidified to even spread on your roll. This restaurant has given you a mini glacier. On a small place. Delicately wrapped in gold foil. A siberian glacier from antartica. Probably the same one the Titanic hit.
And now it's sitting on your roll. Ruining your perfect roll. A square of saturated fat. And it's probably not even butter. It's margarine. Curse you, trans-fats. I just want my garlic dinner roll.
Well, Ladies & Gentleman. Here's the insiders scoop... the band-aid to all benumb butter botherations... Put that little fatty cube in between your thighs before you try to spread it. It'll melt & soften in a matter of minutes and you will be able to smoothly paint your margarine masterpiece.
& your thighs will be your newest dinner-secret best friend.
Call me Butter,
'Cause I'm on a Roll
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