Prepare Ye Every Needful Thing

Would you be ready for that?

One year ago I could have changed it all. One year ago I thought “hey, in a year—you’ll have it all figured out”. In a year, I could’ve been ready. But it’s been a year. And I’m still clasped in the cleave of nothingness. I’m still listening to that same song, and still wanting to be that different girl.

In this moment, I am left fishing for a definition of what the word ready means.

Read·y [red-ee]  adjective, read·i·er,read·i·est; verb, read·ied, read·y·ing

1. completely prepared  or in fit condition for immediate action or use.

1. duly equipped, completed, adjusted, or arranged, as for an occasion or purpose.

1. willing

1. prompt or quick in perceiving, comprehending, speaking, writing, etc.

1. inclined; disposed; apt.

1. in such a condition a to be imminent; likely at any moment

Willing. That makes it all seem so manageable; so… uncomplicated. Comical, really, to even be stressed about it.  Of course I am willing. I am more than willing; I am wanting.

I'm wanting something bigger, 

I'm ready. Are you? 

But I know I am not ready. 
Not ready in his definition. 
Not for what he wanted. 
Not for a life revolutionizing phenomenon of any sorts, actually. 
But, what I do know is this: I know that I am ready to start preparing to become ready. 
As redundant as it sounds, it's true. 

There exists in me a predisposition to behave; a latent readiness. I am willing to become prepared. I am wanting to change.

I’ve been refreshed to find that awareness itself is never a trigger for change.

I’m aware. I’m willing. I’m wanting. I’m ready.

So where’s my trigger?

What's my trigger?

Are you ready for this?

Organize yourselves; prepare ye every needful thing, and establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order,

 A House of God.

 D&C 109:8

And possibly all these unhinging, unsettled thoughts are artlessly here because I’m sitting outside in the summer tide of the dog patch and thinking Hey, I really wish I would’ve brought my coat.

Talk about a change.